Brave
by Minela310
Summary: This is a JudeTommy story told in Jude's POV. It's a lot different from what you've read from me before. Jude is struggling with her self while Tommy's trying to find his place in life. Or better yet, Jude's life. R&R appreciated!
1. Chapter 1

_**BRAVE**_

by Minela310

_**Hi! I'm Jude Harrison aka First Instant Star. Can't believe it's been almost 11 months and I will be turning 17 in two months. Officially. Got my license too. Can you believe it? Of course you can't. You're a camera and I'm completely losing it. Sorry, I'm a little nervous. Now I'm apologizing to a camera. Jude, get it together. I don't really like being on camera. Ironic huh? Maybe it's cuz I'm in my pjs. Anyways I bet you're wondering what I'm doing recording myself. Good question. I don't know. My therapist says that I need to find a productive way to release my stress. I can't really talk to anyone so I figure I could always talk to myself. Right? Ok so I might as well tell you about my day today. Ugh. It's not easy being Jude Harrison. It all started at G Major…..**_

"_Jingle bells, jingle bells_" UGHHHHHH, if I hear one more Christmas song I'm going to scream. Seriously, Christmas just passed three days ago and the radios have been playing these songs for over a month straight. "_Good Morninggggggg_" who other than Jamie would be singing at eight in the morning? "_Morning_" I more grunted than anything. "_Coffee?" _he was handing me an empty cup. I assumed he would pour the coffee in afterwards. And in walks Quincy. If I didn't know any better I would say he didn't bother making his hair this morning. That's my cue to leave or at least get out of his view. Any time Tommy doesn't pay attention to his hair is a time you don't want him to pay you any attention either. I could swear I heard Jamie howl. Tommy of course walked passed us just nodding for me to follow him. Oh no, this wasn't a good sign. He never goes to the studio without his morning coffee. And it's even worse when he just nods without any words. The English vocabulary has hundreds of thousands of words; I know. I've flunked it the class and had to take summer school but we'll get to that later. He could use ONE or maybe two words. I have a feeling this is going to be a long day.

Jamie shrugs his shoulders at me and smiles brightly. Ahh how I love him. Seriously, who else beams like that this early? And how many times did he save my ass this week only? If it wasn't for him, I would oversleep every day and than I'd have to get lectured by the Grinch himself. ANYWAYS, without any support from Jamie, I bravely make my way to the studio and breath in deeply before opening the door. I deserve a metal for this. I mean who else in their right mind would walk into the lion's den? I spot Tommy at the sound board. He's not even turning around to face me. This would be day 23.

23rd day of what you ask? Well that would be 23 days since I last kissed Tommy. 23 days since I last touched him in any unprofessional way. 23 days since he actually smiled at me. Can you believe he hasn't smiled at me in almost a month? I mean who can go for that long without a little grin? I'd take anything at this point. But I knew Tommy wouldn't give in. I had made a choice. Not one of my best ones I'll tell you. I should have handled the situation differently. Maybe he would be nicer to me now. "_Are you just going to stand there or are we gonna get any work done today?_" see?? He was EVIL. He doesn't even bother to be a little nice to me. And I was in love with this idiot. I swear one of these days I am going to…going to. I DON'T KNOW but I will do something. _"JUDE, get in the booth_." He almost raised his voice at me. One of these days, just not now. Not while he could bite my head off just for looking at him the wrong way. What was I suppose to do? So I did the same thing I had done for the past 23 days. I sucked it up and did as I was told.


	2. Perfect Winter

_**Chapter 1**_ - Perfect Winter

So let me tell you how this whole mess started. I'm sure you already know what a huge crush I had on Tommy who by the way is right next door. IN MY SISTER'S ROOM. Well that little crush wasn't all that innocent. I mean it was but it wasn't. I don't know how to explain it. It's just weird. Tommy and I were good till I flunked English. You know, we had all that chemistry and we'd flirt but the line was drawn and we both knew it. Ok, so maybe that line was crossed a couple of times when we kissed but I swear it was all a caught-up-in-the-moments kinda thing. Until six months ago.

Oh and YES, I failed English. It wasn't my fault though, honestly. I thought the teacher was joking when she said that I couldn't miss the final and just make it up. I thought she would make an exception because well lets face it, my life wasn't your ordinary 16-year-old's life. So I had a concert the night before my English exam. It was my first real, official Jude Harrison concert. Without other artists, without all that fake pop culture and with my fans. Just me and SME so I'm sure you can understand that I wasn't going to miss that. This was big. Super HUGE. This was like an F7 of tornados. Let's just say that the concert was a success but me waking up in the morning not so much.

I missed the final completely. My teacher didn't care that I was famous or that it was my first official concert. Not even when Darius or my parents tried to reason with her and can you believe that Tommy tried using his charm on her too? After he lectured me, of course. She was like completely immune. I need one of those shots that she's probably getting. You know. One shot, no Tommy affect. Anyways, she failed me and my parents almost had a combined heart attack. My publicist went into frenzy. Poor woman. Failing 11th grade English wasn't going to get my albums sold.

They actually enrolled me in summer school. God I can barely say those words. Summer and school should never go in the same sentence together. Hell even in a paragraph it would be too much to handle. But that wasn't the worst of it. The cherry on top was when they forbid me to go inside G Major. Yep, they actually could and DID. Darius somehow convinced my parents that I still needed to work on my music but they were pretty strict. The only time I was to write for my career [which was my WHOLE life, who needs English? was after I got home, did all my homework, and my mother had CHECKED it. Yes summer school had homework, imagine that. But I actually had to report to my mother on everything. It wasn't all bad though.

At the end of the day, Tommy got to come over and we got to work on my music. That was the only thing that was good about the whole situation. Spending so much time with Quincy outside of the studio. Of course there was a downside to that one too. Sadie got to see a lot more of Tommy which meant they spend some time together too. Which meant they got closer, which meant Jude was once again SECOND. Story of my life. At that time though I didn't notice much. I was too busy with other things. Too distracted by God's perfect creation to notice Sadie and Tommy making googly eyes. Did I forget to mention that there was also ONE good thing about summer school? Yep, there actually was and his name was Joel Winter aka God's perfect creation.

So I walk into the class, about two minutes late. This wasn't my fault either. I didn't have my license yet so I had to catch the bus and I missed the first one. All eyes on me as I stood there like a dumb ass. Man I didn't know this many people flunk English. The few people that had been whispering completely shut up. "_Aa sorry I'm late. I missed the first bus_." I said looking around. I hadn't even noticed the teacher standing at his desk by the window. _"Jude Harrison?"_ someone asked so I finally looked in that direction and there he was; tall and lean bending over his desk just a little, a pen in hand and looking my way. His dark hair fell over his eyes just a little and I completely forgot that he had just said my name. "_Jude Harrison_?" he asked again turning from me and towards the class. Didn't he know who I was? "_Uhm that's me_." I stuttered and he turned my way again. I swear I thought my legs were made out of pudding or something.

"_Tardy_" he said and scribbled something down in his notebook. "_Two more and you will be repeating the 11th grade Mrs. Harrison. Please take a seat_." He smiled the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. Even his teeth were perfect. Wait what. "_Tardy? You're not seriously going to count the first day? What if I couldn't find the class or something_?" I tried to defend myself. This caught him a little off guard I could see. He straightened up. Wow he was tall and build. "_But that's not the case now is it, Mrs. Harrison. What if I missed my bus? What if the other 19 students couldn't find the class? What if you got hit by a bus_?" he mocked me sarcastically. I was stunned; completely floored. "_It's Jude. You probably drive so you couldn't miss the bus and I didn't get hit by a bus but I'm starting to wish I had."_ I said and took a seat in the front row; right in front of his desk. Right now that wasn't my first choice. It was the only desk that was empty. "_I'm Joel Winter; you're English instructor for the summer. You're right, I drive but you might want to save that remark about getting hit by a bus for the next time you're tardy, Jude_." He said sarcastically, smiled at me and continued with attendance. Two minutes of class and I had already made an impression and it wasn't a good one.

The other kids were whispering. I really had no one to talk to. I could feel them staring at me. It made me feel awkward, especially when I saw that the teacher was starting to notice it too. "_What's going on here_?" he asked looking up at the class. I sank a little in my chair. Here we go. No one said a word. "_Will someone tell me what all this whispering is about?"_ I just wished he would drop it. He couldn't seriously not know who I was. My last three singles were all number ones on the billboards for over five weeks. My first album went platinum. My voice was all over the radios, my name all over the TV. Where did this man live? Mars?

"_That's Jude Harrison. We didn't know we'd have two celebrities in summer school_." Someone said from behind me. Two celebrities. I could swear I was the only one. I didn't recognize anyone else. I really didn't want to turn around to have a better look though. I just wanted to get to the assignment and go home. Home where Tommy would be later on and just get lost in my music. I could feel Mr. Winter's eyes on me but I didn't dare look up. I was embarrassed. Famous people don't always want all the attention to themselves. I think he noticed that because he didn't say another word about it. He handed us poetry books and told us to turn to page three. I did. I read the damn thing but didn't understand a word of it. No wonder I flunked. The homework assignment was to go home and translate this poem from old English to modern. Now this is where my mother would come in handy.

The bell rang and I got up to leave. "_Jude, I'd like a word with you_." Oh great. I was already in trouble. I sat back down and waited for everyone else to leave. Mr. Winter was cleaning the chalk board. When he raised his hand his shirt lifted a little and I could see what stared off as a six-pack. I never ever had a teacher who looked like that. He dressed pretty nice too. Light blue, faded jeans and a black polo shirt. Now I'm the last person to compliment a polo but he made it look so good I had to make an exception. I felt my cheeks warming up just as the last person walked out. He turned to me and I think I must have looked like a complete school girl. Oh wait, I was. Duh.

"_I just wanted to apologize for putting you on the spot like that. There's always one person who is late and it just happened to be you today. I had to make an example out of the situation."_ He explained and just like that I wasn't angry any more. I think that I turned a new shade of red when he smiled at me. "_Truce_?" he asked holding his hand out to me. I looked at him and took his hand. He shook it gently. "_Call me Joel. Mr. Winter reminds me of my father._" Jude this would have been a great time to say something. Anything. But I wouldn't be me if I actually had known something clever to say. Thanks God for Tommy's timing.

"_There you are_." Tommy walks in and I jump to my feet. I completely let Joel's hand fall like I had been caught doing something I shouldn't be doing. Tommy stopped and looked at me and Joel. "_Tommy, what are you doing here_?" I asked walking towards him. "_I thought if I picked you up you could get done with your homework faster and we could get to the music quicker._" He said not looking at me. He was looking at Joel. I saw Joel scanning Tommy. Joel was so much bigger than Tommy, taller and more muscular. I knew where this was going so I grabbed Tommy's arm and pushed him in front of me. Sheesh, men and their testosterone. Or at least Tommy's. But Tommy wouldn't be Tommy if he just let this drop so he did a 180 on me and turned around walking straight for Joel. Joel seemed unbothered by the whole situation.

"_I'm Tommy Quincy, Jude's producer_." he hissed trying to stare him down. Joel just smiled his beautiful smile and extended his hand. Now that was a man. "_Joel Winter, nice to meet you. I'm Jude's English teacher_." he said and I melted AGAIN. I mean three months with Joel were going to be a breeze. This wasn't a punishment it felt like a reward. He was too easy to look at. "_Aren't you a little too young to be a teacher_?" Tommy of course. "_Come on Quincy, we have to go_." I tried rushing him out. "_I'm 24 so no_." Wow he was young. "_Uh huh_." Tommy glared at him. I finally managed to pull him after me. Tommy didn't say another word which was very unlike him. I turned to look at Joel again; he was looking after me and smiled my way. Oh God, why did I have to study English? If there was a subject in Joel Winter I would ace it.

So Tommy kept quiet the whole way to the car until of course we got inside the Viper. I knew this was too good to be true. "_Jude, he's your teacher_." huh? "_What?" _what was that suppose to mean? He thought I'd sleep with my teacher or something? "_I saw the way you were looking at him and I'm going to tell you right now, don't even think about it_." his look was stern. "_What way was I looking at him? What are you talking about_?" He turned the engine on. "_Oh come on, you looked at him like he was God or something, you almost drooled_." he said annoyed. "_Oh that way. You don't mind when I look at you like that."_ I fired back. He just looked at me. "_You have no right to tell me what to do. Besides, he's my teacher. Ew…"_ I threw back at him and fastened my seat belt. Tommy shot me an approving look and drove to my house.

So I was getting my books when Tommy opened the car door for me and took them from me. Why couldn't he always be this nice? I followed him to my door and a few seconds later we were inside but no one was home. This was a good sign cuz it meant we could get to the music right away. Tommy sat down on the couch as I got us a few drinks. I watched him from the kitchen. Man I could stare at him for the rest of my life and never tire of it. It should have been a crime to look as good as he did. There I go again. I'm starting to sweat and I'm pretty sure my face is turning red. That's been happening a lot lately. Actually ever since my 16th birthday, you know when Tommy kissed me and than made me forget. Yeah that was only a few weeks ago. There's been so much tension between us lately. I swear sometimes I feel like jumping him in the middle of the studio and other times he makes my skin crawl. Like the time I caught him with my sister in G Major's bathroom. Oh yeah, she works here now and the bathroom scene wasn't pretty. Actually it was pretty ugly and only two weeks ago. It was another thing Tommy made me shove under the rug.

I actually had to see a doctor when my period became irregular. He said that it was because my hormones were all wacky and out of control and he put me on birth control to regulate my hormones a bit. I wasn't shocked at all to hear this. I mean with Tommy playing hot and cold with me, why wouldn't my estrogen levels go crazy? It's actually quite funny because I'm probably the ONLY virgin in Canada on birth control. You should have seen the look on Tommy's face when he found them in my purse once. He first yelled, than waved his hands violently and than wanted to kick everyone's ass, including mine. I actually had to get my doctor to explain to him why I was on the pill. That's when he finally calmed down. How embarrassing was that?

"_Jude? Are we gonna do this sometime today_?" oh that's my cue. Another night spent with Tommy Quincy. While I'm horny and the smirk on his face told me that he knew. Sheesh.


	3. My Almost Lover

_**Chapter 2 - **_My Almost Lover

So I sat down across from Tommy and he's looking at me weird. You know, one of those Tommy looks. Do I have something on my face? "_I didn't know you could read upside down_." he joked. Oops. And once again he's right. My hand writing is horrible enough, there's no way I can read any of what I wrote from here. So I sat down next to him. Look at that smirk on his face. Wait, why is he leaning towards me? Oh the soda. Phewwwwww. Close call. Seriously Jude if you don't get it together you'll be the first 16-year-old to have a heart attack. "_Jude, pay attention_!" oh right. The song. I shouldn't have been out on birth control pills, what u really need is a dose of Tommy.

"_You still don't have a beginning for this song." _he said pointing at a page. I didn't have a beginning because I didn't really like that song. I wrote it but I wasn't really inspired when I did so I just left it the way it was. I never intended on finishing it till he thought that it might have some potential. "_Uhm I wanna do a different song_." He's just looking at me. Ok anytime now he's going to respond. Point out how ridiculous that would be. Bu I actually have most of the lyrics finished. I wrote this one song the night of my 16th birthday party. Of course I buried it deep under my bed and I have no idea why I was suddenly ready to let Tommy hear it but it's as good a time as any. "_Ok which one?_" Wait, he wasn't going to argue with me on it? That's it? He must be in a good mood. That's my cue to come up with something solid so I storm up the stairs, get the folded up paper from under my bed and storm back down. Tommy's looking at me weird again. I wish I knew what was going on inside his head sometimes, other times I'm thinking that it's pretty scary in there so I'd rather stay inside my own head. Oh yeah, the song.

"_Sing it to me_." He demanded. See with Tommy, when it's work its all work. "_No music_." I pointed out obviously. I could just read it to him or better yet he could read it to himself. "_So sing it without music_." Well duh, why didn't I think of that one? I unfolded the paper and right now this is starting to look like a bad idea. I mean these are some pretty private feelings. About Tommy, who I was just about to let inside my head. "_JUDE_?" God he's so impatient. "_Ok fine. Chill_." Sheesh.

So I think its better if I don't face him while I'm doing this. I turn my back to him and I know he's probably giving me one of those looks again. "_Don't say a word Quincy; I just need to do this without you staring at me._" I said before he could get a word in which I knew he was getting ready to by the sigh he let go and than he smirked. "_Didn't know I unnerve you that much, Harrison_." I hated that. That arrogant tone in his voice, like I was head over heels in love with him or something, like he made me go weak in my knees. Wait, I am and he does. Right, but he doesn't have to know that. Shut up Jude, this is why you're a nervous wreck. Cuz you can't stop talking to yourself. I really am my own worst enemy. So I took a deep breath. Might as well get this over with.

"_Your fingertips across my skin,  
the palm trees swaying in the wind,   
images  
you sang me Spanish lullabies,_

_The sweetest sadness in your eyes  
clever trick,  
images."_

I couldn't hear him but I knew he was listening closely, he always was. I was shaking a little. So Tommy never really sang me Spanish lullabies but hey, it's fitting. I mean he sang me other things. I don't know if he speaks Spanish. I know you know what I mean by clever trick. I mean come on; this man is always setting me up. Ughhhh and I always fall for it.

"_Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me_" and I really wanted him to be happy even if I was hurting which I was badly that night. I knew he wanted me happy too. He's just weird and thinks that I can be happy being single for the rest of my life.

"_Goodbye my almost lover  
goodbye my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
can't you just let me be?  
So long my luckless romance  
my back is turned on you  
should have known you'd bring me heartache  
almost lovers always do_" man this was harder than I thought it would be. And how fitting is it that my back is turned on him right now? I mean come on. I swore that night that I was gonna let Quincy go but I couldn't. It's hard. I mean how am I not supposed to think about him when he's always there? Yeah, I thought so.

"_We walked along a crowded street,  
you took my hand and danced with me,  
images  
and when you left you kissed my lips,  
you said you'd never, never forget these images_

Well, I'd never want to see you unhappy  
I thought you'd want the same for me"

Man those were some memories. I mean he kissed me in the rain and than left me. I was cold and heartbroken because of Shay and he comes and just steps on me even further. I'll never forget the way it felt to walk home that night, my clothes drenched from the rain and I was freezing. But I didn't care about any of that; all I could think about was how my lips still trembled just thinking about him kissing me. Ok let's not relive that memory again. At least not right now. Oh and he never actually danced with me in the street but we've danced before. You get the point, we have memories.

"_Goodbye my almost lover  
goodbye my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
can't you just let me be  
so long my luckless romance  
my back is turned on you  
should have known you'd bring me heartache  
almost lovers always do"_ I think I sang that one a little too loud. Calm down Jude, don't get too emotional. Jerk is right behind you.

"_I cannot go to the ocean  
cannot drive the streets at night  
cannot wake up in the morning  
without you on my mind  
so you're gone and I'm haunted  
I'll bet you are just fine  
did I make it that easy to walk  
right in and out of my life_?"

Ok so that one hit home with me. It really hurt. I mean seriously he acts like he didn't break my heart that night. Sometimes I think he's heartless. I watch him at times without him noticing and he never shows any emotion other than anger. He's emotionless and it pisses me off. It's true you know. I can't do any of those things without thinking about him. I mean it's ridiculous. I wake up and my mind automatically wonders to him. It's sickening. I can't stand it sometimes.

I think that I need to turn around and face him now. Breathe Jude, breathe and turn. His eyes are on me. Oh great that weird look again. I sit. "_When did you write that?" _he's asking. Should I lie or just tell him the truth? Oh what the hell. "_The night of the party_." I almost whispered. I might have been losing my voice but I think I was just a little afraid of his reaction. He knew what party I meant. I saw it in his eyes. They look almost a little sad. He drops his head to his lap. Hm is this a good or a bad sign? Maybe he does really feel bad about that night. "_Jude, I never_-" Not this again.

"_Drop it, Tommy. It's past_." This is the last thing I needed right now. Another lame, sappy excuse as to why he did what he did. Like he really cared. I, on the other hand, would cry myself to sleep overanalyzing everything he was just about to say. Why is he getting up? And I hear the door open. I'm guessing Tommy heard it too cuz he sat right back down. He's looking at me. I know he's thinking hard, I wish I knew what he was thinking about though. It's hard to read Quincy sometimes. Well actually most of the time.

"_Jude?" _oh that's Mom. "_I'm in the living room_." Hmmm Mom, Dad and Sadie. What's missing with that family picture? Oh yeah, **ME**. "_Hi honey. Oh, Tommy. It's good to see you."_ ah my Mom, she was always so polite. Tommy's smiling at her. What did he just say? Ah I missed it. That's cuz my consciences won't shut up. Hm Tommy's shaking my dad's hand. And here we go, Sadie. "_Are you staying for dinner, Tommy? We have Chinese take-out_." I hate when she's trying so hard. It makes her look so slutty, doesn't she notice it?

"_I think I'll pass. I have to get going_." Too bad. Not really, I want him to go. After I just let all of my heart out I think I need a little time to myself. You know, without him there. "_Oh no Tommy, stay. We have plenty_." No mommmmmm what are you doing??? UGH dad, help me here. "_Yes Tom, we always buy way too much and than have to throw it away. You're probably hungry anyways_." thanks dad, NOT. I officially hate my life.

"_Come on, you can help me set the table_." and so Sadie grabs him and they're gone. Poor Tommy, I think he looked at me for help when he turned around real quick. Sorry Quincy, I'm not feeling too generous tonight. "_So Jude, how was your first day of summer school?_"

"_It was good mom_." what could possibly be good about summer school other than my cute teacher? "_Anything interesting happen? Did you do your homework yet?" _ugh and you know what happens now, right? Of course I hear Sadie giggling. She's so transparent; I swear that girl has a one-way mind. It's all boys and more boys. Or in this case Tommy and only Tommy.

So I spend the rest of the night trying to avoid questions about school and my new teacher and on top of that I've had to avoid talking about the song Tommy and I were working on right now cuz you know my parents are just the two nosiest people in the entire universe and they have to know **absolutely** everything. Poor Tommy, he was trying to eat in peace without Sadie asking him 1001 personal questions. It serves him right though, he didn't have to be that good looking. Maybe if he hadn't shaken his ass like Britney Spears, Sadie wouldn't be so hung up on him. Anyways so it was time for Tommy to leave and my mom insisted I take him to his car. Bless her soul, that nice woman. So finally when he was able to pry himself away from Sadie, I walked him to the Viper, in silence. We stopped at his door. It was a beautiful day and getting dark. I can't believe that it was almost time for me to go to bed and its back to school again.

"_Jude, honestly I didn't know that it was like that far you_." I knew what he was talking about but I didn't wanna talk about it. Why couldn't he just drop it? "_How was it for you Tommy? I mean you probably went home and didn't even think twice about it_." he was right in front of me. I had to look up at him. Say something damn it. "_You're wrong. I thought about you the whole night._"

"_Lucky me. Wanna know what I did with my night? I cried, Tommy." _I hated when he got me this emotional. I know he felt guilty. "_Jude, I shouldn't have made you forget. I acted on impulse. I got scared." _wait WHAT? What did he have to be scared of? Tommy Quincy scared, huh? That one just didn't register with me. "_You weren't scared Tommy, you were just trying to cover your own ass. If anyone found out you had kissed me you would have been fired and you know it."_ Ok so I was mad. Truth was I think I needed to be angry. I never got a chance to yell at him for making me forget. He was just looking at me. Man if looks could kill, he'd be kissing me right now. He looks so innocent.

"_I could care less about the job. I can go to any record label and they'd hire me in an instant_." I hated when he was right. It's true. Tommy was offered more money and more vacation time by other studios but for some strange reason he wouldn't leave G Major, not that I ever wanted him to. "_It's you that I'm scared of losing, girl_." Did he just say what I think he said? Wait, what's his hand doing? Ok, he's stroking my cheek. God this felt good. His hands are so freaking soft. He's so close to me. And he smells like paradise. Oh my God, he's leaning in. He was scared of losing me? I wanted him to kiss me right there. Against my better judgment I wanted him. His lips just touched my cheek. I think I've just died and gone to heaven. I don't have any control when it comes to this man. My arms are instantly going around his waist. Aw he's pulling me to him. My head is so close to his chest I can hear his heart beating.

"_I could have a million jobs but never another you, Jude_." and that's when he officially had me. Do you see now why I was in love with this what ever he was to me? It's sweet things like that that had me completely wrapped around his finger. I wish I could tell you how we passionately kissed then and how he told me he wanted to be with me but I can't. Because that would be a lie. He kissed the top of my head, squeezed me one more time and drove off. I walked inside my house, did the stupid English assignment with Sadie's help, showered and went to bed. I didn't sleep the whole night because Tommy's words played over and over in my head. I wondered if he was sleeping, I wondered if he ever wondered about me. I wanted to call him but I didn't dare.

All I had were the sweet words he had whispered to me and a new day. Which, by the way, started out badly until I came to school ;-)

_**Hello my loves, it's me. I'm happy to see some of you are still interested in my writing. Thanks for sticking with me all this time. I know I've been MIA for a long while, blame it on school work. I'm not sure how much time I will have for this story once school starts next week again but I'll try as hard as I can to update regularly. **_

_**I know things are fuzzy. Let's face it; they always are with my stories. The song I used in this chapter is called "Almost Lover" by **__**A Fine Freenzy**__**. It's not my song and I don't own any part of it. **_

_**Oh and one more thing. If you love ffs as much as I do & you've written one or two yourself, I made a myspace just for Instant Star & ffs. So if you want to add me feel free. I am looking for some stories to be featured on the site. **_

_**And if you haven't done so yet, there's a link on the page to sign a petition and hopefully save IS…so please do so if you're able to. **_

_**All your reviews & everything else are much appreciated. Here's the link for the myspace, hopefully no one will report me….of course, take out the spaces. **_

_**www.**__** myspace.c om/instant starfanfic s**_

_**Love Minela**_


	4. A Moment

_**Chapter 3**_ – A Moment

So when I got to school today I was the first one there. Instead of taking the later bus I decided to skip embarrassing myself all over again and take one earlier. Lord behold I walk inside the classroom and the only person that's there is Joel. Imagine how surprised and nervous I was. He looked HOT. He was wearing white shirt and dark jeans today. Again, I'm not a clean-cut loving kinda girl but damn he was pulling it off. "_Good Morning, Jude. I see you're early today." _ah look at that smile. So I'm walking to my seat and he's right in front of me sitting at his desk, SMILING. "_Morning." _I read in one of Sadie's girly magazines that its better to stay quiet and give one word answers to a guy you might be crushing on than talking him to death. Which as you can tell, I was trying to avoid doing because let's face it, I think I am sort of crushing on him. "_So you're in the music business? I meant to ask you yesterday but I never got a chance when your boyfriend picked showed up_." Huh? What? My boyfriend? I think I need to use a couple of words to answer this one. "_Oh no, Tommy's not my boyfriend. He's just my producer_." I thought I did pretty good. This wasn't so hard.

"_Aa, so you are in the music industry?_" Great Jude, you told him all about your single and pathetic life but you couldn't manage to answer one lousy yes-or-no question. "_Yes, I'm a musician_." Ok, good save. "_Sorry, I'm not from around here. I just moved to Canada two weeks ago_." Aaaahhhaaa so that explains it. No wonder he didn't know who I was. I was beginning to think that he never surfaced from his books. "_Where are you from_?" good question Jude. Look interested but not desperate. I think that was tip number six in Sadie's magazine. "_The States._" Hey, they play my music over there. How could he have not heard of me? "_Oh, so what brings you to Canada_?" Next, I will ask him if he's married. No wait I can't, that would totally defeat tip number six's purpose. "_I played professional basketball till I injured my knee. So when my career came to an end I got my teaching degree and got offered a full-time position here. So here I am_." No way, **HE **was the other celebrity that that other kid was talking about? A basketball player. Hm I never met one of those. No wonder he's so freaking tall. "_I take it you don't watch the NBA_?" oh man now I look just as bad as I thought he was when I thought he didn't know who I was. Did that make any sense? "_No, sorry_." What else was I suppose to say? Tip number seven said not to lie about anything unless you know everything about that matter. I don't have ANY idea about basketball. What if he asked me who my favorite team was? Yeah, see? I would have been really screwed than.

"_Eh don't apologize to me. I never watched it myself; I just loved to play the game_." Could he like seriously get dreamier? That sounds just like me. I mean I don't like watching or going to concerts but I can't live without paying my music. "_I'm sorry you can't play any more_." and I really was. I could never imagine not being able to play my guitar or to never sing again. I would DIE. And that's when he looked up at me not that he was looking at me already but that's the first time he really **LOOKED** at me. His eyes landed right on mine and it was almost like he was searching for something and he knew exactly where to find it. He looked so thoughtful. I don't know what it was but I know it was a moment. A moment where I felt like he was someone I could share things with. You know, like talk about stuff. Like he would actually understand me. Than again, aren't all teachers supposed to make you feel that way? You know, you're supposed to be able to trust them. But I don't feel that way about a lot of people. It was a comforting feeling. I didn't want it to end but of course it did and just like five seconds later when he was about to say something else, another flunkee walks inside the classroom. Yep, I call them flunkees cuz that's what we are.

It's that kid who mentioned me yesterday. "_Hey Jude, can I get your autograph? My brother went crazy when he heard I had class with you_." Huh? Right now? This is awkward. But what was I suppose to do? So I smile at him as he's giving me a paper and pen. I scribble my name down really fast. It's a little weird giving autographs in school. That's one thing I will never get used to, for sure. Joel's smiling at me. "_Can I get one of those_?" he joked and I smiled back at him. Man, I'm starting to really love school.

The rest of class went by smoothly. We talked about the poems we had for homework and let me tell you it wasn't as boring as I thought it would be. Joel makes it interesting and fun to learn. He actually tried to talk in slang just to keep our attention which I thought was very amusing. Our new assignment was to write a poem for tomorrow. It can be about anything but it has to be something pertaining to our own lives. Something we're kind of going through ourselves, something personal. I figured this would take me like five minutes to do but I wanted to impress Joel. So I called my Dad after school and told him that I would run to G Major and pick up a few things (which was only four blocks away from school) so Tommy wouldn't have to come over and I could dedicate all my time to my homework assignment. He didn't argue with me once I mentioned the whole homework situation but he did warn me to haul my ass right out of G Major and straight home. So I arrive at G Major and everyone is a little surprised to see me, including Kwest. "_Hey, you know where Tommy is_?"

"_Hey Red, I think he's in Studio D_." I look at the studio door but it's closed "_Is he with an artist?_" We all know how much Tommy hates to be disrupted during a recording session. "_I don't think so. We're not scheduled till later on. Aren't you banned from here_?" HA HA HA, these days everyone thought they were comedians. "_Very funny. I'm leaving I just needed to tell him that I can't work on my music today. See you when I'm free again_." I joke and make my way to Tommy. Kwest laughs a little and waves me off.

So I open the door slowly and peak my head inside because I didn't want Tommy to notice me in case he was busy with an artist. Let me tell you he was busy just not with someone talented but with my dear sister. Who I guess was talented in other departments by the way they were going at it. He had her sitting on the soundboard (shock number one cuz Tommy's soundboard is off limits to every and anyone), Sadie's right leg was wrapped around him and I could see one of her naked shoulders. His pants were pulled down a little (shock number two, Tommy wore boxers. I always thought he was a briefs kinda guy) as he moaned and I officially was scared for my life. This would give me nightmares till the day I die. "_JUDE!!!" _I heard Sadie say to which Tommy completely untangled him self from her and turned to me, trying to pull his pants up. He looked chaotic, his hair all over the place. I'm guessing that was Sadie's work of art. I looked at Sadie, who was trying to button up her blouse. Her lipstick was smeared all over her face and she looked flushed. When Tommy looked at me I lost footing. I couldn't do anything but run and all my thoughts screamed for me to get away as far as possible. I closed the door behind me violently and just ran for the nearest exit. I heard them calling my name but I wasn't about to stop, I couldn't even if I wanted to. I kept on running and running until I ended up under this one bridge where Jamie and I used to come to when we were little.

The bridge was right next to a lake, the water was beautiful and still. I sat down on this huge rock that was right under the bridge. Jamie and I would sit there for hours and hide out when one of us was in trouble. No one ever knew about this place. The little walkway behind me leads straight to a park but we were smarter than that. We knew our parents would look for us in the park so we found this little hide out. It never failed us to this day. I hadn't been here in over two years.

I was looking out at the calm water but all I could hear was Tommy's voice whispering my sister's name. I didn't hate seeing him with her as much as I hated the way he always lied to me about caring for her. The way he always made it seem as though she wasn't worth a second look but she was good enough to mess around with. I hated the way he always described Sadie as the bad one when all she did was care about him. But what I hated the most about the whole situation was the fact that he dared to lie to my face about having feelings for her. I could learn to deal with him caring for her, it was the lies that I couldn't tolerate.

They were disgusting, anyone could have walked in. What if it had been Darius instead of me? My phone was ringing but I didn't bother answering it, I already knew who it was. It was either Sadie calling to beg me not to tell mom and dad what I had seen or it was Tommy trying to sell me another one of his bullshit excuses. I was so tired of bullshit. I felt so betrayed. How could he tell me all those things last night and than do my sister? He was an asshole, plane and simple. He didn't deserve my trust and he sure as hell didn't deserve my sister's.

So I did what I do best in situations like these. I write. I took out my English notebook and started to scribble things down. I was doing pretty good. A lot of it was anger but Joel did say to write what we were feeling and that it had to be about our life. So I might as well let everyone know how in love I was with my produce that at the same time was banging my sister, AT MY JOB. God, my life was just one big soap opera.

"_Jude?" _Who was that? So I turn around to see Joel Winter. "_Hi_." I'm not really trying to look him in the eyes. Anyone could see I was about to start crying. It's what I do. It's who I am. A big, fat crybaby. "_What are you doing here_?" he asks as he sits down next to me on the rock. "_Uhm your homework assignment._" I answer looking down at the scribble on the paper. "_You always do your homework under bridges?_" he asked smiling at me.

"_No, I just like it here. It's quiet." _I say noticing that other than Joel I had been the only one there. "_It's beautiful_." he looks at me and than out at the water. Wait, what was he doing here? So I asked. "_Oh this path leads straight to my place, so I run down here and through the park every day_. _My knee needs the exercise_." He said showing me the scar on his knee. This was the first time I had seen him in anything but jeans yet somehow these basketball shorts seem to fit him perfectly. Not a big shocker there about the running though, with that body he had to keep in shape somehow.

"_You Ok?" _I wanted to say no, I wanted to scream and hit something and maybe even throw something but I didn't. The look on his face completely calmed me. He was so put together. And he saw right through me. That's when he did something I least expected. He put his arm around my shoulder. This look on his face, I couldn't read it. He was trying to comfort me. "_Everything's going to be alright. You're strong, you can handle anything_." he whispered and for some odd reason it really felt like I would be Ok and he was right, I was strong. I believed it when he said it. I could get through a hell of a lot more than this. This wasn't the first time I caught Sadie and Tommy together and I knew it wasn't going to be the last either. So I let Joel hold me for a few seconds till he pulled away. His eyes met mine for a few special seconds. I wanted to lean in but I was too scared. I waited for him to make his move. Maybe he'd want to lean in the rest of the way just as much as I did but he didn't budge. Again, his eyes were searching for something in mine. I didn't even notice him raising his hand till his finger brushed over my cheek wiping away one single tear that I hadn't even noticed had left my eye. "_Nothing is ever as bad as it seems."_ he said whole-heartedly. He asked me if I was feeling better and when I told him that I was he said he couldn't wait to hear what I had written and he'd see me in school the next day…then he left.

I went home like nothing had happened. I wasn't mad anymore. I more like felt sad. Not sad for me but sad for Tommy. He must be a lonely soul searching for something that was impossible to find because it didn't exists. Too bad he was using Sadie to find it but I wasn't going to feel sorry for her. She was old enough to know better, I'm guessing she was still too young to care though.

My parents were waiting for me with a major lecture. I explained to them that I had been in the park doing my homework. I lied that I needed inspiration and told them that I had actually bumped into my teacher so I lost track of time. They didn't buy it so I actually had to show them the paper I had written. Once my mom read it I was off the hook. Sadie was nervously looking at me, wondering if I would say anything. "_Sades, what's up_?" I asked her just for kicks. She looks at me disbelievingly. "_Nothing, Jude_." I smiled at her, I knew what had been up…**Tommy Jr**. Mom handed me the paper and I went to my room. I saw Tommy had called me another two times but I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of hearing from me, so I let it ring and ring and ring. Sometime during all the ringing I must have fallen asleep because I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock.


	5. This Time

**Chapter 4 – **_This Time_

So I'm sitting in my seat and we're reading our homework assignments. You know the poems we were all supposed to write. This one girl is up right now. She's talking about her addiction to apples. I mean are you serious? I'm bored out of my mind. Joel has this disbelieving look on his face, sort of like me. I mean she just said '**every night before I go to sleep I have to have an apple to eat**.' WOW. I don't think she completely grasped the concept of something personal. I don't wanna sound mean and usually I'm the last person to knock anyone's writing but come on. APPLES. Even you have to admit how stupid that sounds.

I'd hate to be Joel right now. I mean he actually has to pretend to like it and give her a grade for that disaster. I wonder what she's earned. If there was anything lower than an F, I would have given it to her. Phew, she's finally done. "_That was nice; you made me want an apple_." Joel smiled at her. I really feel like bursting out in laughter right now. "_Jude? It's your turn_." Oh, OK I'll save the sneaker for a little later. So I'm standing in front of the class right now with my paper in hand. Everyone's looking at me.

This is completely different than standing on a stage. I mean on a stage, the fans are distracted by the screams, the loud speakers and not to mention all the special effects like the lights and sounds. Standing here, all by my self was a little nerve-wrecking. So I'm thinking it's best to just get this over with. I take a deep breath, look out at everyone once and turn to my trusted paper, which will hopefully earn me a passing grade for now because I can't afford to flunk summer school too, what a disaster that would be.

"_One more hour burns,_

_So scared of his return_

_That I can't sleep tonight_

_In this hospital light._

_You call a tragedy_

_Is just another day to me,_

_For my heart beats with fear _

_Of his footsteps drawing near._

_The life I meant to lead,_

_Won't slip away from me…"_

Man this was harder than I thought. Everyone is listening to me and they're all so close by. Maybe the girl before me was smart enough not to put her personal business out there. Maybe I should have written about oranges. Truth is that's what I felt. Every word on this beat-up paper is true. I didn't want my whole dream of a long music career to go to waste because my producer is currently screwing my sister. YES CURRENTLY. It's not like Tommy would commit to her, I hope not. And yes, I know I was a little selfish to only think about my music but I'm allowed to be. When I won the contest and signed with G Major, my contract didn't include Sadie in it at all and I'm pretty sure Tommy's didn't either.

"_Cuz this time is the last time_

_I know my eyes have seen too much_

_This nightmare is not fair_

_And I've had enough."_

And I've had enough! I shouldn't be seeing x-rated material at my work. Especially when it's the guy I have to work with day in and day out and my sister who I have to live with. Not by choice, I did say HAVE TO. God that imagine will forever be burned inside my head.

"_You break me as I bleed,_

_You just say you're sorry._

_You call this love?_

_But this time your lies are not enough._

_There's nothing left of this,_

_Your whispered words and empty threats,_

_Rip away the seems of what I thought this would be,_

_The last thread has come undone,_

_To reveal what I've become,_

_Another victim of poisoned love."_

I felt like I was already down on the ground, because Tommy knocked me down on my birthday and I still haven't been able to get up and than I catch him with my sister AGAIN so it was like he was kicking me while I'm lying on the floor. He apologizes but the more he says he's sorry, the less his words mean to me and the less I believe him. I thought if we couldn't be ANYTHING, than at least we'd be producer-artist and maybe even friends but with Quincy being ANYTHING is downright impossible. How could he be my friend if I couldn't trust him?

As I read all of that, all these millions of different emotions ran through me. It was like I couldn't control anything that ran through my mind. My head was all over the place, with different people all at the same time. I felt like I was being pulled in so many directions I was going to lose it and someday soon.

I wondered what was running through Joel's mind as he listened to me. Maybe he thought I was a young, school-girl who just got her heart broken. Maybe he thought I was speaking of something I couldn't possibly understand because I was so young. And why wouldn't he think those things? Everyone else did.

I asked myself where Tommy was and what he was doing. I wanted him to feel guilty but than again I really didn't. I felt betrayed but somehow, at the same time, liberated. I felt free, like I was finally letting go of Quincy when deep down I knew that wasn't the case. I felt like a victim, like I had been betrayed in the worst possible way but than again I wanted to feel the pain. More like needed to feel it. It was the only thing that kept me alive, at this point. I needed him to understand how much he always hurts me but that was too much to ask. Tommy would never understand. He's still so young when it comes to matters of the heart. So immature he couldn't know how I was feeling even if I spelled it out for him.

There were two more lines on my paper and I knew that Joel knew that too because he just kept on looking at me, edging me to go on. I wondered how he knew that I wasn't done. I felt like the last sentence would set me free or something. I felt like every word was suffocating me and it was getting harder and harder to breath. Like I needed to read the last sentence out loud so I could take another breath and set myself free. Worst of all I felt like I was lying to myself because I knew that I didn't want to let Tommy go and especially not to my sister. I looked down at the last words. Come on Jude, be strong. Say it.

"_What remains a mystery?_

_You cannot have the best of me,_

_So I'm taking back,_

_All you took from me."_

And that was it. I took a long breath. My eyes were closed and I hadn't even realized it. When I opened them, everyone was still staring at me. "_And that's why she's famous. Her lyrics are killer._" I heard this one kid from the back row say. It's funny, that wasn't even the thing that caught me off guard. I mean it should have but it didn't. I felt flattered and relieved. What did catch me by surprise was the fact that the kid wasn't looking at me but at our teacher. Joel nodded his head approvingly and smiled wide. He had this little twinkle in his eye. For a split second I felt like he was proud of me or something.

I dropped my head and fidgeted back to my seat. "_Amazingly done, Jude_." he said. Yes, him JOEL. I didn't wanna look at him; I just nodded my head, my eyes looking towards my lap. So the rest of the time in school, I couldn't concentrate. The day went by so slowly. I remember bits and pieces. Most of the time I was zoned out. Shockingly Joel didn't assign any homework for today. I thought I'd go home and enjoy my day off.

So I came home right after school, as I was ordered too. I had a few paparacies taking my pictures on the bus, how lame and I was completely worn out. When I got home, the p'rentals were still at work and I'm guessing so was Sadie. Maybe she and Tommy were working on some new yoga moves. Ha, I started laughing at that joke. I swear I'm so funny sometimes. I mean picture Tommy with his leg behind his head. EXACTLY, hysterical.

You know what I haven't done in forever? Taken a long, hot bath. I used to love taking those which is why I'm going to do that right now. So about twenty minutes into my relaxing bath, I hear the door bell. Don't you just hate when that happens? You're so into something and than another something has to disturb you even though I can't think of anyone who could be at my door right now, for the life of me. It's only around five, I think. So I jump out the tub and let the water drain while I get dressed real quick.

Whoever it is is very impatient because the damn door bell hasn't stopped ringing in ten minutes. Of course you can guess who was standing there when I opened the door. Yep yep, Quincy. This man has the worst timing ever. Not only don't I have ANY eye liner on but my hair is dripping wet, not to mention he completely disrupted my relaxing time. "_Took you long enough_." he says as he just walks past me and into my house. I'm telling you he's too comfortable here for his own good. "_What are you doing here?" _

"_You're not picking up your damn phone." _he points out so obviously. Didn't it ever occur to him that maybe I didn't wanna talk to him? No wonder he dropped out of high school. He's not too bright with anything other than music. "_That's cuz I really don't have anything to say to you." _he's looking at me weird again. Like he's trying to read me or something, so I turn. "_Wait here, I'll get my journal so we can get started."_ I say as I start walking towards the steps. "_That's it? You don't wanna yell at me or something._" he asked dumb folded. Seriously I don't yell, ever. Do I? _"Why would I yell at you_?" He smirks and it's officially getting me mad. "_You're just going to ignore what you saw?" _Well I was trying to. "_You mean you humping my sister? I figure you can stick yourself inside anything you want. I don't own you. You're just my producer, Tommy_. _I hope my sister used protection though, we all know you're a walking disease_." 1:0 Jude.

"_Jude, we never got that far. I would have never, especially at work." _Yeah right. _"Well you know Quincy there's always your apartment. You do live on your own._"

"_Stop it." _Huh?

"_Stop what?" _I asked. I probably look pretty dumb right now. "_Stop acting like you don't care when we both know you do."_ Damn I hate how he knows me so well. "_What would you rather I do? Throw myself at you_?" And that's when I did the dumbest thing I could have ever done. I walked my ass to Tommy, he looked terrified by the way and I threw myself at him. Not only did I throw myself at him but I pulled him to me, staring at his eyes the whole time. Than I put my arms around his neck and I pressed my lips against his. HARD. He hesitated for a few seconds trying to free himself but I wasn't about to let go. There was too much tension inside of me and I wanted it out. Not to mention the fact that it felt really good to kiss Tommy again.

I held him tighter and something happened. He stopped trying to free himself and his hands slowly circled around the small of my back. I felt his face relax too because his lips became softer all of a sudden and than he started kissing me back. It felt like a million years in the making. I jumped up and wrapped my legs around him. He held on to me as I was in his arms and carried me to the living room. When he sat down I was right in his lap, with one of my legs at each of his side. "_Jude, we can't do this_." he whispered, his eyes closed again. _"Shut up, Quincy_." And I kissed him again.

I never felt anything like it, that rush that ran over me. It's unexplainable. We stayed there, me in his lap as he kissed me. Once Tommy fully relaxed, he had taken over completely and fully which was just fine with me. I would have let him have his way with me right than and there. I felt his hand creep under my shirt on my back. His skin connected with mine slowly and I almost trembled. I don't know if you've ever been in love but if this wasn't the real thing than the real thing doesn't exist.

It's this feeling that comes over you where all your senses go haywire and you lose sight of everything but that one person. You don't care about what happens to you or about the consequences, you're just here, that split moment in that split second and nothing else matters. I could kiss Tommy forever and never doubt myself. I could spend an eternity in this man's arms and never wonder if there was someone better for me out there because deep in my heart I know that Tommy is the best thing for me.

I'm losing my breath so I pull away and breathe hard. Tommy is doing the same thing. His mouth is all red from all the suckage and it looks like he's bruised. I giggle at that. He's so adorable I hate it. He's still trying to catch his breath, his arms are still around my back and he's looking at me. I'd give anything to know what he's thinking right now. "_What's so funny?"_ he's asking because I can't stop giggling. "_You, your lips are all red_." I point out and laugh harder. "_Whose fault is that_?" he asks as he pokes me at my sides. I cry out in pain, because he kinda poked a little too hard. I understand, this man doesn't know how to do all that playful, cute stuff. He's never had a real girlfriend. Sad to say it but he doesn't know how to have innocent fun. Aw now he looks guilty. "_It's Ok_." I smiled at him and his face softened.

I couldn't resist running my hand over his cheek. I knew every tiny part of his face and yet I could never stop looking at him. He kissed my hand softly when I ran my finger over his lips and than leaned up and kissed me again. If I didn't know better I would have said that this wasn't my Tommy, because my Tommy would have already ran out this house saying how wrong this all was and thrown my age in my face. But I wasn't going to stop, not now. I kissed him like I had never kissed him before. It was slow and gentle. I first kissed his lower lip and than full on. He tasted like strawberries. I wondered what his secret was. It was that moment that I thought I would never give him up to anyone, not even Sadie. He kissed me so softly and I wasn't even mad at him anymore. Not even a little.

"_What's going on here_?" Oh no it's Mom. I jump off Tommy and he instantly jumped to his feet, wiping his lips. I looked over at him and he looked terrified. "_Jude, explain RIGHT NOW_." she demanded but how was I to explain this? "_Mom, it's not what it looks like_." I tried but she wouldn't have it. "_Not what it looks like? You guys weren't just about to have sex on my living room couch_?" I can't believe she just said that, in front of Tommy. He's turning red. "_MOM, no gross_."

"_Tommy, I think it's best if you leave now. I don't want you at my house any more and Jude will not work on her music until this summer is over. Once she comes back to the studio I will have a talk with Darius about a different producer. Are we clear_?" Oh my GOD, No!!! "_Mom, no. It was nothing. It's wasn't Tommy's fault. I-" _I tried but Tommy stopped me.

"_Mrs. Harrison. This will never happen again, you have my word on it_." He tried but she just shook her head. "_You're word doesn't mean anything to me anymore. Please leave." _I couldn't believe she just said that. I know how hard Tommy took that because I saw it in his eyes. He looked back at me and headed for the door. "_Oh and Tommy, I don't want you anywhere near Jude again. Understood?" _He looked at her and shook his head no. I couldn't believe what was happening. "_I'm sorry about this, Mrs. Harrison but that's not something I can promise you. Jude means too much to me_." he said and walked out.

I was a zombie for the rest of the night. Mom tried talking to me but I wouldn't listen. I yelled and yelled and yelled some more. When dad came home she told him everything and than he tried talking to me but I wouldn't listen to him either. Sadie came home late, so I didn't even see her. I don't know if she knows. I locked myself up in my room and tried calling Tommy. His phone went straight to voicemail. I didn't sleep that whole night. His words ran through my head a million times. I meant something to him and not JUST something but I was important in his life. Even though I always thought he cared I had never heard it from his mouth. I meant something to Tommy. And I didn't sleep that night.

_**Hey guys, it's me. Just wanted to let you all know that the song I used in this chapter is called "This Time" by Celine Dion**_

_**Hope you all enjoyed this chapter. I will tell you that the next one will reveal a little more about Joel Winter lol. Till next time**_

_**Minela**_


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